Well peeps, the general consensus is to merge my old blog with my new, so here I go. In this entry you will find the four posts I made on Marriage Photography. I didn’t want to delete them, because I enjoy what I wrote, but I also didn’t want to leave them at the old blog site. I hate it when people move on from a URL and don’t delete it. Isn’t it so depressing when you come up with a perfect name, only discover “that name is already in use … would you like to try …” and then they give you 5 examples that mash-up your original idea by switching up words and letters and adding 4 numbers to the end. Not cool. So anyway, that’s why I must delete the old blog’s existence. If you haven’t read these entries before, please do!
Xoxo Liz
P.S. If you have unused blogger URLs … do the right thing … delete them! (Someone else will thank you for it!)
Follow The Leader
Welcome, welcome. Thanks for visiting. Here I go, jumping on the blogger bandwagon. I’m a follower, not a leader. My husband, Zach, just started a blog the other day. Bacon Coffee, as he named it, is just a mash up of his two favorite things, so yet again, (as I have stated, I am a follower), I decided to do just the same. Only, in my opinion, I think my two words fit a bit nicer together, (no offense, my dear).
I got married to my wonderful husband a little over a year ago, and what consumed my passion throughout the entire wedding process and beyond has been wedding photography. I love everything about weddings, and I love even more the art of capturing it in photographs that will allow the memories to last a lifetime. Had I more knowhow in high school, I would have taken my favorite class (photography) and turned it into a profession. Alas, I had different plans and my life took many turns in different directions. It wasn’t until I was up to my ears in bridal magazines that I even remembered my incredible joy for taking pictures, looking at pictures, being the subject of pictures, and envying the life of a photographer. Who knows, someday I might journey back into the photography world, and maybe even someday become a wedding photographer (drools!), but until then, I shall simply write about it.
Wedding photography is an art in itself and differs greatly from normal photography. It requires, at least in my opinion, a special concentration, patience, timing expertise, and, yes, love of weddings! Photographing a landscape at sunset is beautiful, but there is an entirely different beauty that surrounds the union of two people. Christian or not, (and I am!), most people feel a sense of holiness when they take their vows. They stand up in front of hundreds of people and proclaim their love, and fidelity to one person alone for the rest of their life. And while my thoughts on vow breaking and divorce rates is another blog post all together, I think it’s assumed that on a person’s wedding day, they believe their proclamation to be honest and true. How can a photographer crystallize the memories of someone’s proclamation of love and not get swept up in the wonderfulness of it all?
I believe my marriage is a series of proclamations. Daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly renewing your vows to have and to hold till death do you part. Each fight, each resolution, each hardship, and each joy is another opportunity to crystallize a memory. So it’s not just wedding photography, but the tangible and intangible photographs of my marriage that I would like to share with you. Take the journey with me as I evaluate and enjoy photography, as well as evaluate and enjoy my own marriage. I hope you are inspired to do the same with things you are passionate about as well.
My Favorite Memory
I would consider my wedding photography tastes to be modern. My family in the front of the church surrounding Zach and me was really the only traditional photo I was expecting. Unfortunately my photographer was not “artsy” enough to successfully pull off anything … well …. “artsy.” I basically could have taken the same quality of work on my mediocre point and shoot digital camera bought 4 years ago. Regardless, this post is not supposed to be about bashing my clueless photographer, but rather to set up why this one good photo really means a lot to me.
This is my favorite photograph from the entire day. This photo is the only time my photographer woke up and actually caught a moment. This is the moment I want to, and now, will always remember from that beautiful day. This is marriage. This photo right here. When I look at this photo I see all the tears I cried leading up to this moment. I see wedding planning and life planning gone horribly awry. I see fights, and debates, and hurt feelings, and disasters … all of which mean absolutely nothing to me. In this moment, I am safe. I am happy. I am where I know I am supposed to be. I am standing firm with my family, friends, pastor, and crappy photographer, proclaiming true love for this man. My husband. I look up at him and know nothing else matters; that all our tears, arguments, and disruptions can, and will be overcome by our love for each other, and our faith in God. I look up at him and feel beautiful, protected, and affirmed in my decision to grow one with him as we grow one with Christ. I am clearly the subject of this photograph, but all I see is Zach. That is why I love this picture.
Go back and look at your wedding photos. What is the one photo that seems to encapsulate your marriage in a single moment? I’d love to see you post it or describe it!
To Have and To Hold
My husband and I dated for 6 years before we got married. Six years is a long time. In those six years we laughed together, and fought together. We did stupid things together, and we matured together. Together we made our parents happy, and yes, sometimes, we drove our parents crazy! One subject matter I particularly do not miss getting yelled at over was the cuddling. Ah yes, the infamous touching of two fully-clothed teenage bodies together … how did my parents ever sleep at night?! Zach and I loved to cuddle while we were dating, (and yes, still do!). We were perfectly content watching crappy movies, or just sitting there talking for hours, so long as we were connected on a comfortable couch, feeling the warm embrace of one another’s touch.
The worst part about dating Zach was in the winter time, when one of us, (most times he), had to stop cuddling under a warm and cozy blanket, and leave the other. Going out into the bitter cold to drive home was only half of the misery of leaving each other each night.
Once Zach and I finally got married, and we laid awake talking in our nice warm bed (for two!), we decided, then and there, that one of our favorite parts about marriage was that we never had to stop cuddling and leave the other ever again! No more getting out from under the blanket and driving home in the cold. I finally got to cuddle my man until I fell asleep, and to make matters better, he would be there when I woke up!! I tell ya, marriage is bliss!
I always loved the part in marriage vows that said, “To have and to hold.” Perhaps it’s just the cuddle-lover in me, but when I hear that phrase, I always pictures two people holding each other so tight, and never letting go. It’s true; marriage is about holding your spouse. Physical touch is very important in a marriage. Holding, cuddling, kissing, intimacy … all are key factors that people expect and enjoy in a marriage. However, that phrase of the vow that I love so much is talking about a different kind of holding.
Straight from Merriam-Webster dictionary:
Have: to hold or maintain as a possession, privilege, or entitlement
Hold: to have as a privilege or position of responsibility
What a joy to be responsible for someone else. Okay, a bit stressful at times, and perhaps overwhelming, but overall I think it’s a joy. Think of new parents, and how they struggle with being entirely responsible for a tiny human. Any parent I’ve ever asked has said the responsibility is rewarding beyond words. And think about the word entitlement. Once we commit and vow to have and to hold, we are not only making a promise to our spouse, but we are entitled to that same commitment as well. As you “have” one another, you possess one another. Zach is my husband, no one else’s. I am his, and he is mine, end of discussion!
And of course, privilege. I maintain my husband, and I am responsible for him, but when it comes down to it, before we got married it was my privilege, not my right, that he love me. Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Although we are desolate sinners, Christ loved us, died for us, and forgave us of all our transgressions. This act of obeying and submitting to our husbands as they spiritually lead our household, allows us to see God’s ultimate favor. What a beautiful reminder and depiction of the privilege we have to love, and to be loved. Amen!
Till death do us part, may we continually be reminded of the vow we took to have and to hold, physically and spiritually. And as the weather gets colder this holiday season, may we also be grateful for that special cuddle time with our spouses!
Merry Christmas Eve!
It’s been over a year, and my husband is still not used to his wedding band. At home, he constantly plays with it, takes it off and leaves it places, spins it on the table like a coin, and while he always remembers to put it on before going out, it’s probably a very conscious presence on his finger the whole time. Women are different. We grew up wearing rings so the presence of one on our finger causes almost no awareness. But whether you always notice that hunk of metal or not, the ring you wear, day in and day out, is such a beautiful outward sign of your marriage.
I love my rings. My wedding ring is a simple 2mm white gold band with a row of tiny diamonds. It’s a nice understated complement to my mammoth engagement ring with a much taller setting of 9 diamonds that sparkles like nobody’s business. My rings make me feel happy, and beautiful, and every time I bump my engagement ring into something (it really is a tall setting, I swear), I look down at my hand and remember the butterflies I felt on my wedding day. I remember how excited I was the day Zach proposed. I remember how relieved I was when we ordered our wedding bands (checking an item off your wedding planning list is a very big deal). I remember giving the rings to the best man the night before the wedding, wondering if they were in good hands (thank God, my brother is very responsible). All these emotions, all these memories … what a joy to remember and reflect each time you look at your finger!
Most importantly, wedding rings are a constant reminder to you, and everyone around you, that you are married. You are spoken for. You are not to be wined and dined with intent to woo by any other man or woman ever again! You made a choice, and you’re stickin’ to it, no matter what. This is obviously fresh to my husband and me since we’ve only been married a year, but what about couples that have been married for 25 years, or 50? Their wedding rings, that have left a permanent impression in their finger, would remind them of their long-term love. They might look back at their wedding day and think about the patience, resilience, and forgiveness that brought them to where they are now.
I believe any symbol, picture, or memory of marriage should always bring you back to your wedding day, the same way a biblical Pastor makes his sermons Christ-centered, continually remembering the gift of salvation that was given to us by the death of Jesus. Your wedding day was the day you made your vow. The day you stood up in front of the most important people in your life, and made a promise to yourself, your husband, and to God. Every time I look at my ring I remember my husband putting it on my finger as a token and pledge of his constant faith and abiding love for me. I remember doing the same for him. My marriage is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but perfection does not make a marriage good. A good marriage is about remembering your pledge and living it in faith and love.
My husband may not be “used to” his ring for years to come, but I like that he wears it with pride anyway. Diamonds or no diamonds, big or small, gold or not, your ring is your gift, your token. Wear it and remember.
